How Do We Raise Confident Black Children?

My boyfriend and I had a serious discussion recently about our possible, future children. They will obviously be black. They may or may not be born during the Trump presidency (depending on whether he gets a second term), and on top of being born into a society that largely de-humanizes them, they will also be born into a fractured black community that de-values them. Sadly, we both came to the conclusion that due to our current situation as a community, it would be best to raise our future child/children to be confident, self-assured individuals and to not focus on being seen as part of something that is apparently broken nearly beyond repair on a collective level. We decided to also raise our future child/children to remember the sacrifices that our ancestors and elders have made and to strive toward excellence as a repayment for those sacrifices.

Yes, there will be racism. Yes, there will be social obstacles and labels that people will place on them because of their skin color. But we hope to make them strong enough to navigate around that and to push through those negative messages because there are many examples of others who have done it before them. But how do we make them confident enough to do that? As much as I want to raise them in a vacuum, there is still television, social media, news outlets, and real life situations that will remind our future child/children of their misconceived inferiority as black people. There is also colorism in our community, violence, sexual abuse, hyper-masculinity, toxic feminism, fractured unity, mediocrity, mental illness, poverty, and an overall disrespect of things that have intrinsic value over monetary value (E.g materialism). How do we raise confident black children in between two worlds that feel like are against them?

I reflect on my own life and think about how I overcame such obstacles and are continuing to overcome them. I was written off at an early age by educators who said that I would become nothing. Fast forward, I overcame molestation, depression/suicidal tendencies, got my B.S in biochemistry, interned and worked at some of the top universities in the country, went to scientific meetings and conferences, written over 1000 poems, travelled internationally and across the country, I currently have a career working in the biotech industry, never turned to drugs or alcohol, never been to prison, and I'm in a healthy relationship with myself and with another person. Still, I am striving to be and to do more. How did I acquire confidence as a black person in this country and in this world? Though not perfect, how did I turn out to be a decent human being despite all of my previous obstacles?

The most straight forward answer that I can give and that I hope to pass down to my own child/children one day is this...Uniqueness and a belief that everyone is placed on this Earth to be great at something. Find your greatness and never let someone deter you from that journey as an individual. This is independent of social constructs and labels based upon skin color. No matter what society says, only you can determine your future. If others have done it before you, there is really no excuse.