For some strange reason, I had the overwhelming urge to deep fry chicken fingers for dinner after a long work day. It was relatively quick, free, and I didn't have to set up a table. Shame on me...(just kidding, but not really). Just yesterday, I was at an interview for my second job; desperate for a way to increase my yearly salary, even if it meant working up to 80 hrs or more per week. With that kind of life, who has the time to properly run a home, take care of a husband and kids, and cook wholesome meals every night? In my fantasy warped brain, it would be nice to believe that I could. But reality stinks, and there's a reason why I'm 26, unwed and childless. Because if I wasn't, God help them all. No, really. God help them.
So, I calmly admit my defeat so far in failing at being the gentle, luxurious, diamond in the ruff type of woman that today's society desperately needs. Instead, I'm turning into a workaholic, not enough sleep having (by my standards), clean only when something is obviously too dirty being, TV dinner warming, grossed out hair having, daydreamer of tropical getaways being, always on the run type of woman. What a FAILURE! At least I can say that I have the freedom that I need in order to create the type of life that I ultimately want for myself. That does sound a little selfish, but eh...so what? I'd like to believe that today's woman comes in all varieties. We're not so cookie cutter anymore and that's ok. During my grandparents' generation, it was expected that women waited for their future mate for home and financial security. Women getting an education beyond high school and working outside of the home wasn't as mandatory as it seems to be in my generation. Thus, is why I only have to time to fix a bowl of cereal before crashing every night.
This is not to say that I don't know how to do what's required of me as a woman. It's just that I rarely get the time...or the energy, because I'm too busy trying to save for my future house, shoot for my dream job, or earn that extra degree...and save on that round trip to Europe one day. I love being a woman with dreams, a focus, and ambition for life! That's not saying that I don't desire what every other woman desires (you know what I mean), but I just desire that and more. I believe that as a 21st Century woman, another person's idea of a perfect role for a woman will never be enough for me. One day, I want it all. The family life, the job, the travel, the income (smiles), and the purpose. Each one is a piece to my puzzle. The puzzle just wouldn't be complete if one piece was missing.
But as I always do, perhaps I'll have a change in perspective later on. However, I don't mind having my chicken fingers tonight :-)
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