Unapologetically Me

Dear readers,

I got the inspiration to write another blog post on self-acceptance...at 10:08 pm on this cold, Saturday evening in January. As I'm typing this, I have thoughts running throughout my head that I choose not to control. After almost 20 years of my life spent on trying to figure out how to please others and to try to get them to accept me, I've come to the conclusion that the purpose of my life is to NOT fit in but to STAND OUT. I have stood out all of my life and it was noticeable by the few. Much to my dismay at times, especially during adolescence, I couldn't hide my personality which included my shyness, quirkiness, "nerdiness", and introversion. I couldn't hide the fact that my thought processes were askew to the "normal" way of thinking and understanding the world in which I and others lived in. I couldn't hide the way I spoke, dressed, and what my passions were. I constantly felt like an alien...and still do sometimes but as cliche as this may sound, I was born to be this way!

I am the girl woman that a lot of people cringe and smile at at the same time. I am borderline tragedy mixed with genius. Insanity mixed with clarity. Spontaneity mixed with groundedness. I carry all the things that the Creator has put in me in order to fulfill whatever purpose that I have within this life. Though I haven't completely figured it out yet, I know that it is not a mistake on why the Creator made me. This is me! Unapologetic-ally me. I am not feeling sorry for my originality and the way the Creator made me inside and out. I am no longer embarrassed at myself and I'm working on being enamored with myself. I have gifts, no one is the same, and I was made UNIQUE. And I am OK as I am.

Working within a scientific discipline, I know about the theory of evolution. But over the past few months, I began to focus more on spiritual and self evolution. I am just a part of who I really am on the inside and I am always a work in progress towards my true, higher self. I'm certain that I will have to give up control over my life and allow the universe set forth the obstacles that I need in order to continue growing and maturing towards my calling. I'm not ashamed of who and what I am, which is me. In all actuality, in India Arie's words, "I am light". I'm really not this body that I carry around with me to live on Earth. I am light encompassed with the gifts that the creator instilled in me to help people and to help spread love. When I boil everything down to this, life makes more sense. It makes more sense to me on why I was born and why I am the way I am.

I hope that this post will encourage someone :)